Flying anxiety: Thoughts that Run Through My Head When Flying

I’ve been on over a hundred flights, but still have a fear of flying. Without fail these are the thoughts that run through my head every time I fly.

Are you scared of flying and have a similar flying anxiety?

What is the definition of insanity again?

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Flying anxiety: My over and over again thoughts when flying

• Richard Branson cares too much to jeopardize my flight safety, I trust him.
• Why is that baby crying so badly? Does he know something we don’t?
• Okay, we are up the back, is this the safest part of the airplane?
• If you fly business class, do you have more chance of survival?
• At least if we blow up, I won’t feel it, but then I won’t get to say goodbye to anyone.
• Safety instructions? Please, if we are going down, we are going down. Bracing against the seat in front of me is not going to help.
• Yeah, but we are not going to need the oxygen mask, Are We?
• Love having my knees up around my ears.
• If I do all the Sudoku puzzles then I won’t notice the plane taking off.
• Will you stop squealing lady behind me? What would you know about flying? I’m sure they aren’t taking off too close to each other…. Unless…. “Excuse me are you a pilot? Or an air traffic controller? Well shh you are freaking my six-week old baby out!”
• Oh shit. I hate this part.
• I hope there are no low flying geese.
• Please stay up..please stay up…. Fly.
• Why is the plane dropping?
• Shit, we are going down.
• OMG the plane is about to roll…..uh… no it’s just the wings tipping as it turns.
• I’m so sick of flying. I’m too old for this.
• I feel sick, where is the vomit bag?
• Why have the engines stopped?
• WTF is all this turbulence?
• If we landed in the water, is there a greater chance of survival? How long can I hold my breath for?
• Why doesn’t Craig look worried? Is anyone else on this plane scared?
• Please don’t talk to me strange person beside me. I am secretly hyperventilating.
• It’s so damn hot in here, turn on the air con.
• Phew. Flying altitude reached, now I can relax and watch a movie and drink … waiter…  I mean flight attendant, “Vodka please, make it a double on the rocks.”
• Hang on I don’t even drink vodka.
• Oh, look how beautiful the coastline is. Hey cool! Is that a whale breaching? …saved by a killer whale
• Wow! Cities are just one sprawling, concrete jungle.
• We really are just specks aren’t we?
• I’m flying… wheee
• That can’t be turbulence—shit the plane is about to fall apart.
• Excuse me, my baby’s ears are hurting, can we hurry up and land? Um… hold that thought. Don’t want you to take the quickest way down.
• What’s that noise? Oh, it’s the landing gear coming down.
• Only a couple more minutes and we’ll be touching down.
• Stop squealing lady! GODDAMN wind is shaking the plane apart!
• Why is he in brace position?
• If we drop now, we should be okay. I think we’ll live.
• C’mon, c’mon you can do it.
• Touch down. Phew. Breathe. We made it.
• Just don’t rear end a plane on the way in.
• Thanks Richard for keeping me safe. Clap the pilots. Man are they amazing.

Check out my crazy flight ritual to help me get over my fear of flying AND what this crazy lady did on a plane when taking off. 

I’d like to declare myself certifiably insane and suffering from a terrible case of flying anxiety.

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Do you suffer from flying anxiety? Can you add any strange thoughts you have when flying to the list?