9 Steps To Help My Fear Of Flying: My Flight Ritual

You might not know this, but I have a fear of flying. I know what you’re thinking; you run a travel blog, how could you be scared of flying?

Well, like any fear, the trick is to not let it define you and to come up with ways of managing it. I don’t think I will ever get over the fear of flying, but I can make flying easier by having a pre-flight ritual.

So if you’re scared of flying and don’t know what to do about it, perhaps my pre-flight ritual may help you feel more at ease and steady your nerves.

My Flight Ritual

Step 1. Get organized

The best way to manage a fear of flying is to stay calm throughout the flight – or at least, this is my experience.

So the first thing I do when I board a plane is I get organized with my pens, reading book, iPod, and journal in the pocket in front of me.

Part of fear is a feeling of anxiety and stress, and being disorganized often makes me feel more anxiety and stress.

If I know where all my belongings are, and keep them tidy, I can minimize the chance of me feeling any of these negative emotions during the flight and stop me from feeling overwhelmed.

Step 2. Do something calming and quiet

The next thing you want to do is settle in and do something quiet and calming to take your mind off the fact that you’re in an air plane.

Take out the in-flight magazine to read, or do a crossword puzzle.

For me, I do the Sudoku to take my mind off the take-off jitters. In later years, I’ve bought those Sudoku puzzle books to complete during flights, or you can download an offline Game on your phone.

These kind of brain-games are designed with mindfulness in mind. They make your mind focus on one thing, and shut out everything that’s around you.

I’ve even been known not listen to safety advice because I become engrossed in Sudoku.

Step 3. Do listen to the safety advice

If it’s your first time flying, do listen to the safety advice and pre-flight safety briefing.

I used to feel like if I listen, it is a sign I’ll have to use it.

My thoughts say, “pay attention to how you blow up your jacket, because you’ll need it.” Fear freaks out, “don’t listen because you’re casting an evil spell if you bring your attention to it and you’ll have to use it.”

Now I change that negative feeling into a positive one – it’s just there to protect me, and that’s good.

Now I pop my head up to listen to safety advice, just in case.

Step 4. Keep working on your Sudoku

Return to your Sudoku or brain game after the safety briefing and keep working on it while the plane is taxiing.

I often feel like this is the worst part of flying. The initial moments before the plane actually takes off, and you’re waiting in anticipation.

The anticipation is usually what gets my mind worrying and causes me with anxiety, so it’s important to keep your mind focused on other things.

Step 5. Think positive thoughts

As the plane reaches the runway, think happy thoughts of your destination and imagine all the fun you’ll have.

Look out the window during take off, if you are sitting near to the window.

I feel that if I am watching the motion, I have control over the aircraft and can make it fly safe because I am magic like that. This might not help for everyone, but for me it does.

Otherwise, keep your eyes on your Sudoku during take off.

If you’re with someone, you might want to hold their hand for support. I always grab Craig’s hand as we hit air space, because there ain’t no effing way that plane can make it up.

Step 6: Admire the beauty of flying

Once you’re in the air, it’s time to turn those negative feelings into positive ones. Take time to stare out the window as you soar through the clouds, and take a moment to appreciate how beautiful they are.

Think about how huge the Earth is and how small everything looks from up here. Be mesmerized like watching the licking camp-fire flames.

Look down at the city below and wonder what is happening inside the houses, think about where the cars might be going, what construction workers are building, what conversations people are having over dinner in the restaurants.

Or if you’re flying over nature, think about what animals and insects are grazing in the grass below you.

Flying is pretty cool. Flying is scary, but also, incredibly cool. Remember that your fears are negative emotions, and you want to make them positive. Try to think about all the good things about flying – such as where you’re heading!

Step 7: Engage in quiet activities throughout the flight

If you need something to take the edge off, return to your Sudoku until you are relaxed. Other ways to stay relaxed are to do quiet activities, such as read articles in the magazines or watch one of the inflight movies.

Listen to music or podcasts on your phone (remember to download them beforehand) or you can even practice meditation to return to Zen.

When picking movies, I tend to choose either a comedy or drama. Avoid movies with negative emotions as these can bring back feelings of stress.

For me, I may write a few travel blog posts, read a book, or try to sleep.

Step 8: Walk around the cabin

If you’re on a long-haul flight, it’s important to move around the cabin to keep circulation flowing in your legs.

Step 9: Meditate and mantra on the decent

As we descent and move closer to touchdown, I go into a state of meditation and repeat my mantras. This is the scariest moment for me, as you can feel your body adapting to the altitude as the plane makes its way towards the ground.

The landing is the bit where you feel like you’re at the highest risk of crashing, and it’s the last moment of the whole ordeal, where something might go wrong.

Here are some mantras you can quietly say to yourself as you descend:

• I am safe. 
• I am always safe when I travel. 
• I am grateful to be here.
• I will reach my destination. 
• I am proud of how I handled my flight.
• It will be worth it at my destination.

On landing, heave a sigh of relief. We made it.

Try not to think about how fast you are moving and silently scream at the pilot to “slam on the brakes, man!” as you hit the runway.

During landing, you may want to keep your eyes closed and hold someone’s hand, or hold onto your arm rest.

Things to consider before taking the flight

As well as following my flight ritual above, there are some things you should think about if scared of flying.

• Drinking alcohol. I used to drink alcohol to calm nerves before a flight. There was this one time I had bourbon at 10:30 am on the plane to calm my nerves. However, it’s not recommended to drink if you have a bad fear of flying. This is because alcohol dehydrates you, and can also cause anxiety and make you feel worse than you did before. However, you know you. There are some people that swear by drinking before a flight to calm their nerves, and to be honest, it has helped me, but if you know you get particularly anxious when you drink, it’s best to avoid it.
• Ask for another drink should turbulence be too scary or I become too bored.
• Think about where to sit on the plane. If you’ve never flown before and you don’t know how you’ll react, don’t pick the window seat on your first go. Pick a middle or aisle seat and lean over to look if you feel up to it. The aisle seat is usually the best one to go for on your first flight as you are closer to the exit.
• Don’t read about plane crashes. This may seem obvious, but we are all guilty of overthinking and dooming ourselves by reading about all the things that could go wrong, even if it’s a 1 in a million chance.
• Read about turbulence. On the other hand, it might be useful to learn about turbulence. This is something most flights encounter, and it’s really scary the first time you feel it. However, once you learn about why it happens, and what it is, you’ll feel much better about your odds of staying in the air and not falling out of the sky.
• Speak to your doctor. If you’re really overly anxious, then do speak to your doctor about anxiety medication you can take.

Final word of advice

I have spoken before of my fear of flying and the crazy thoughts that run through my head when I fly.

It’s hard to imagine taking a flight without an image of a plane falling out of the sky coming to my mind every time.

While I know these thoughts are irrational, I also know they are also there to protect me, not hurt me.

As soon as you recognise these thoughts as being a defence mechanism, it’s easier to accept them and not let them get in the way of you doing the things you want to do.

We are all scared of things, but if we stop doing things because we are scared, we would never discover new things. Don’t think of fear as a negative emotion, think of it as protection. Protection is good, right?

For me, it would feel weird to not have those thoughts of planes falling when I board a plane. It’s become part of the process, and I welcome those thoughts every time, because I no longer see it as a bad thing.

More Flying Tips

• My secret jet lag cure
• Tips for flying with kids
• How to find cheap flights to anywhere

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Do you have a fear of flying? What’s your flight ritual? Let us know in the comments!