You Have to Have a Big Enough Why

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I’m writing this after a frustrating day of site breakdowns and business related blow ups.

Actually, it has been a frustrating month where nothing has really gone right for us. Really, if I wanted to be honest it has been a frustrating and hellish couple of years for us.

As I do almost every day, I walked away from my computer and said, “To hell with this. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”

The Road to Your Dreams

Travel Blogging is hard work. There is a lot that can go wrong. Most of the time it’s problems that are far beyond my realm of ability to fix.

Not only is the blogging hard work, but it is trying to manage that with work, being a parent, general day to day stuffย  and piled on top of that is the personal hole we have dug for ourselves and are doing everything we can to dig back out.

And we are not travelling right now, the one thing that really makes our spirit soar.

Life has seriously been a bitch. At times I feel as if I am bi-polar. One moment I am extremely excited about what we are doing and where we are going and the next I’m bursting into tears in a children’s playground.

I’m not bi-polar. I am travel blogger. I am a person who is pursuing her dreams. A person who believes in something way bigger and better than herself and so has to endure a roller coaster ride to bring it to life.

I’m not sure why it has to go this way but it does. Achieving your dreams means sacrifice, failure, and hard work mixed in with some wins.

Have a Big Enough Why

It is this belief, this purposeful why, that keeps pulling me back. I know with the clarity of a newly polished diamond just why I am doing all this.

When I want to throw the computer out the window, shut up the words that spew forth from within me and tell people to go to hell, there is this little voice inside of me that speaks

“Remember, why you are doing this.”

Exploring Venice Beach with children
Kalyra and her daddy explore Venice Beach

It is that why that helps me breathe again and to focus with razor sharp intent on the vision I have for my life and my children.

There is no greater pain than to be stuck in a life you do not want or love. Like Harry Potter’s dementors it will swallow and suck up your spirit, fill your life with blackness and steal away your happiness and joy. A life without these is a wasted life.

I know what a wasted life feels like, and I know what my dream life feels like. I cannot stop until I make that my reality again.

That means at times I do have to tell certain people to go to hell. The people who want to tear down my dreams and let me know I am not good enough.

After all we’ve been through, instead of being called names and looked down upon we should be congratulated for taking a stand for our passions and, considering the circumstances, maintaining a positive and friendly attitude. You have no right to stand between me and my dreams.

To hell with you.

That means when the technical obstacles come my way, I have to walk away in order to find that small voice again giving me the strength to tell those dramas to go to hell. I will not let you beat me. I will find away and I will call upon those wonderful souls who can help me.

And when the tears fall, I’ll tell them to go to hell too, They can have there place to fall, but they can’t have their place to destroy my dreams. Fall, cleanse and then be gone.

And when the dirt starts to fall back into the hole, I will dig faster than I have ever dug before and tell the gravity to go to hell.

My dreams are bigger than you.

I have a big enough why, so I will never quit and I will not fail.

What is your why?

Is it big enough to withstand the pressures and setbacks that come with pursuing your dreams?

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40 thoughts on “You Have to Have a Big Enough Why”

  1. Funny, I had the exactly same thought, up all night. You know, I’m not a full time travel blogger, and have a day job-big ass one. So recently, I thought I can’t live like this because I can’t handle my day job.
    and you know ‘the talk’. I had one of the worst night of my life after ‘the talk’, and glad to know one more person out there, thinking same as me. yes we sometimes have to say ‘go to hell’ to certain people, even if they are family.

    1. Yep. It doesn’t matter who they are, if they are trying to steal your dreams from you you need to tell them to go to hell. i think there are many people who are feeling the same way, it is nice to discover it is not just you. You do such a great job with what you do Juno, keep moving forward. It sucks that the day job has to get in the way. We understand totally what that is like.

      1. I think everyone has been through this at some point, at least everyone who has a dream and pursues it. It’s the price you pay to realise those dreams.

        1. Yep. I think you have to pay the price in order to prove you really want it. If you want it bad enough you will push on through the crap to get to the dream. At least that is what I have convinced myself of ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I really feel for you guys. Dealing with issues that are beyond your control on top of the day to day stresses in life can sometimes feel like the last straw. I’m glad you have decided not to let it break your spirit. Stay positive and things will turn around.

    Travel blogging IS tough. I go through waves of loving and hating it too. I force myself to take a step back from blogging when I’m feeling overwhelmed or frustrated. I think many of us who want to fulfill our dreams push ourselves too hard and when set backs happen it can feel like all our blood, sweat and tears is for nothing. But the reality is that we can only do so much and we can’t force things to happen. It will happen in time and everything is as it should be at this moment. Stay strong and please let us know if you guys need anything.

    1. Thank you Christy! I appreciate it so much. I think you are so right in regards to pushing ourselves too hard. We do that for sure and it does make those setbacks harder. You become so involved in what you are doing, and you know how much you have put into it, you just want to see some payback. all good things come to those who don’t quit!!

      1. Matthew Setter

        I couldn’t have said it better. I’ve been doing my best, in amongst a full day-job – with 3-4 hour daily commute – to build my tech blog. Now I’m new to blogging, sort of new to writing, but am keen and ambitious, regardless.

        After months of working at it, it felt like it had just gotten to a point of flat-lining and possibly going nowhere. Being the charming, overly-emotional type, that I am at times, I was being a general grump in a state of depression, until my partner, Mel, asked what was wrong.

        After telling her, she gave me the most wonderful words of encouragement and support. That’s what I think counts at these times and what can save you from throwing in the towel.

        Not all of the traffic, comments and general satisfaction made up for those kind, honest words – and a great hug. Yes, there were some tears too.

        The best thing though, was the next day I had a 16% traffic jump and it’s persisted since. So going from that low moment, to
        1 – knowing someone’s there supporting me (you)
        2 – that the work really is paying off

        makes it all worth it – in the long run. Day-to-day can seem pointless, but having a long-term view, I feel, definitely helps you see it for what it really is and keep a sense of balance.

        But I also totally agree with what you say about at times, just walk away. Despite the energy and enthusiasm, there’s a life outside of the blog and computer too.

        I’ve really enjoyed reading your Facebook page and regular updates – please don’t stop. You have a fresh, open, enthusiasm and perspective that would be a shame to see end.

  3. “I’m not bi-polar, i’m a travel blogger”… haha… LOVE it! I’ve felt like that so many times, especially when my site goes down and there is nothing I can do but wait around for some IT guy that lives seven time zones away and won’t be in to work for two days. (this happened over Christmas day weekend- are you kidding me?!) Talk about a stressful christmas!

    Sometimes I want to just get an office job because the stress of day to day money planning would go away- but really, I hated that life and I love being a travel blogger. I guess that is why we put ourselves through such agony on a day basis!! Cheer up- we are in this with you!

    1. Ha Ha. it could be a good tag line for someone’s blog actually!! That would be a nightmare having your site go down over christmas. It is so frustrating because you don’t know how to fix it. The tech guys told me I had to fix my issues or else they would take my site down again. I didn’t have a clue what they were or how on earth I could find out. Luckily Chris Richardson helped me and I gave hostgator a good serve, so they ended up fixing it for me- in two minutes!!!
      You put yourself through agony for your dream life. Believe in it and it will come.

  4. We all have days, weeks and yes even years that suck. When I hit those moments that feel insurmountable, I reflect on why I travel and why love this crazy ass lifestyle. I reflect on what losing both my parents before 60 taught me. We do what we love despite the challenges; because it matters. Echoing a sentiment you expressed, to hell with the rest of it. It works it’s self out. We write and we travel because it brings us joy and inspires others to pursue their dreams. I send you prayers and good thoughts.

    1. Thank you so much Lisa. It is good to be aware of that truth, that all things will pass. If you can hold onto that thought it will get you through the rough stages.

  5. We are with you Caz! We are not terribly techie ourselves, and sometimes we find ourselves staring at the laptop for hours trying to fix some crap WP glitch, only to then ask for advice and have some genius figure it out in 27 seconds… the cool thing however is that the travel blog community is so incredibly helpful they are truly great, so as long as you know that there are others who got your back, hopefully that won’t make things so bad!

    1. The community has been so great and helpful. They have saved us so many times. Do you guys know Chris Richardson, the Aussie Nomad? He is brilliant at helping you fix tech issues. Don’t know what we would have done without him.

  6. Totally get it, Caz. Sorry you’ve been going through this tough time, but you’ve got it right — don’t let anything destroy your dreams. I also understand the bi-polar feeling. You’re not alone. Just keep up the great work — you’ve got lots of fans!

    1. We should start a bi-polar travel blogging group on facebook. We’ll probably get heaps of members. It is such an up and down business. It is your passion so doing it fills you with many highs but it is hard work which can just kill you with the lows. It’s good we can help pull each other back up.

  7. Whoa I think there was some funky travel blogger vibes all around the community. Yesterday I had a break down and couldn’t get out of it until I read Dave and Deb’s post about also being in a funk.

    It happens, but the freedom of this lifestyle is worth all the headaches – at least that is what I kept telling myself yesterday.

    1. The funky vibe is viral!! May has been an all round crappy month for it for us. Next month will be better. There are no great rewards without great sacrifices really. That must mean unbelievable things are in stall for us all. It is so good to have such a supportive community who understands what you are going through. Hope it all gets better for you soon. Keep moving forward

  8. The ups and downs in life are what makes life worth living. A life in the humdrum middle would be boring! All works out in the end and if we didn’t have some exciting bad shite happen to us…. what would we all have left to write about. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  9. Keep your head up Caz, you are so right in every word you said. You are an amazing writer and you two are amazing at what you do with your blog. I don’t have half of the responsibilities that you have and I find myself ready to give up or put it aside at times too. Sometimes it just seems like too much; too much competition and too much hard work.

    It seems like you got all of the site problems worked out, I hope it wasn’t too much of a hassle even though I know it was annoying and frustrating nonetheless.

    Keep up the great work guys, you two are at the top of my list of inspiration!

    1. The site is appearing to be working fine right now but in reality we are still having a lot of problems with it. Ah well. I’m learning a lot about coding, back ups, error messages and files at least!! Thanks so much for your encouraging words. I think I’m in need of a good drink or trip to Thailand. Both will have to wait until after the baby is born. So for now it’s yoga to keep me sane!!

      1. Matthew Setter

        If you need a hand with sorting the site out – give me a shout anytime. Happy to help where I can.

  10. Your site and your writing never fail to inspire me, Caz! I love that line: “My dreams are bigger than you” – because that’s exactly the way they must be treated. Even though it sounds like tough times right now, I have no doubt that you’ll pull through because you never lose sight of the goal! Loved this post.

    1. Thank you Jessica! I really appreciate it. Your dreams are so important in life, they have to be bigger or you never stand a chance.

  11. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve sent out a ‘damsel in distress’ tweet asking for help. I love to work things out for myself but some times the problems with the blog etc are just further than my capabilities and I have to accept it.
    As you said, it’s all about remembering why you do it. One look at Kalyra’s gorgeous little face should do that. You have to remember, it’s not just about the crappy stuff that we have to suffer through, it’s about the legacy (emotionally and physically) you are building for your family. One step at a time Caz, one step at a time. If you need a little push, just shout =)

    1. Absolutely Toni. The legacy that we are building is what carries me through. I feel as if I have no other choice. I have to do this for my children. I just worry sometimes that I won’t be able to and that fear can bring you under.
      I really appreciate your support and encouraging words. Thank you so much

  12. I completely know where you’re coming from Caz. Just before going on this trip, I felt the same way. I wanted to leave so badly every day was complete frustration. I had to keep the dream always in front of me. In fact Dary and I put up a vision board so we wouldn’t forget what we were working for. Keep your chin up. Before long all this will seem like just a blip on the timeline. Love your posts! They never fail to inspire me. Thaks! ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. Dream boards are such a great way to keep your dreams in front of you. You have to do everything you possibly can to help you keep your eye on your goal, it is far too easy to be distracted from it.
    I can’t wait for that blip on the timeline! Thanks for your encouraging words.

  14. I have been feeling like that for a while. All my money has gone and I am desperately working hard to try and get my travel fund back up. That is not what I want to do though. I don’t want to be stuck at a desk.

    Anyway to who ever is giving you a hard time, throw up the middle finger and totally agree that the travel community is great for technical problems.

  15. Oh so many of us can relate. I have a full time job, am a full time grad student, and try to keep up with my blog and sometimes become flabbergasted at how behind I can quickly fall compared to how short lived working ahead of schedule really gets me. But it’s all for the same reason, to fulfill that why.

  16. I think every travel blogger feels like this at times. We are constantly frustrated because we both don’t know how the technical site of a blog works at all – it takes us months to figure things out! But what you guys have achieved since you’ve started your blog is amazing. We wish we would be as dedicated and ambitious as you ๐Ÿ˜‰ Keep up the fantastic work – we really appreciate your posts, tweets and facebook updates.

    1. Thanks guys!! It’s hard to deal with the frustrations when you put so much into it. You wake up one morning and see your site down and everything gone and you completely freak out!! At least we have learned a lot and have a new host provider now which seems much better.

    1. Oh yes. It is so hard to get back on that horse. Glad I could help you! Just keep focused on your dream and why you want it.

  17. this post almost move me into tears… i am in the process of achieving my dream too and the setbacks sometimes are too much to handle… but you’re right, everytime i remember the reason behind everything i do, i muster the courage and strength to continue… lovely post Caz…

    1. Thank you Flip. I’m so glad the post resonated with you in that way. The setbacks can be really difficult to deal with. Just keep your eye on your why and turn to those who can help encourage you and remind you why you need to keep moving forward.

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