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I’m writing this after a frustrating day of site breakdowns and business related blow ups.
Actually, it has been a frustrating month where nothing has really gone right for us. Really, if I wanted to be honest it has been a frustrating and hellish couple of years for us.
As I do almost every day, I walked away from my computer and said, “To hell with this. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”
The Road to Your Dreams
Travel Blogging is hard work. There is a lot that can go wrong. Most of the time it’s problems that are far beyond my realm of ability to fix.
Not only is the blogging hard work, but it is trying to manage that with work, being a parent, general day to day stuff and piled on top of that is the personal hole we have dug for ourselves and are doing everything we can to dig back out.
And we are not travelling right now, the one thing that really makes our spirit soar.
Life has seriously been a bitch. At times I feel as if I am bi-polar. One moment I am extremely excited about what we are doing and where we are going and the next I’m bursting into tears in a children’s playground.
I’m not bi-polar. I am travel blogger. I am a person who is pursuing her dreams. A person who believes in something way bigger and better than herself and so has to endure a roller coaster ride to bring it to life.
I’m not sure why it has to go this way but it does. Achieving your dreams means sacrifice, failure, and hard work mixed in with some wins.
Have a Big Enough Why
It is this belief, this purposeful why, that keeps pulling me back. I know with the clarity of a newly polished diamond just why I am doing all this.
When I want to throw the computer out the window, shut up the words that spew forth from within me and tell people to go to hell, there is this little voice inside of me that speaks
“Remember, why you are doing this.”
It is that why that helps me breathe again and to focus with razor sharp intent on the vision I have for my life and my children.
There is no greater pain than to be stuck in a life you do not want or love. Like Harry Potter’s dementors it will swallow and suck up your spirit, fill your life with blackness and steal away your happiness and joy. A life without these is a wasted life.
I know what a wasted life feels like, and I know what my dream life feels like. I cannot stop until I make that my reality again.
That means at times I do have to tell certain people to go to hell. The people who want to tear down my dreams and let me know I am not good enough.
After all we’ve been through, instead of being called names and looked down upon we should be congratulated for taking a stand for our passions and, considering the circumstances, maintaining a positive and friendly attitude. You have no right to stand between me and my dreams.
To hell with you.
That means when the technical obstacles come my way, I have to walk away in order to find that small voice again giving me the strength to tell those dramas to go to hell. I will not let you beat me. I will find away and I will call upon those wonderful souls who can help me.
And when the tears fall, I’ll tell them to go to hell too, They can have there place to fall, but they can’t have their place to destroy my dreams. Fall, cleanse and then be gone.
And when the dirt starts to fall back into the hole, I will dig faster than I have ever dug before and tell the gravity to go to hell.
My dreams are bigger than you.
I have a big enough why, so I will never quit and I will not fail.