When the World Turns Sideways

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For the last couple of months you may have noticed a slight drop in the number of published posts on this site, and heaven forbid to think the quality of them may have been lacking as well.

I have not been tweeting or stumbling much, and commenting on others blogs has just been too much of an effort for me to do, sadly enough.

But, I haven’t been able to help it. I have been operating on a bare minimal, essentials only existence. And that is because the world suddenly turned sideways for me. I can think of no other way to explain it. I was absolutely gripped in a situation out of my control where every day felt as if I was on a permanent jet lag hangover.

Last time this happened, I never experienced the sideways movement so bad, but that was when I didn’t have a full time blogging business to worry about. That was when I could call the boss up and say “I can’t get off the couch and make it today.” You can’t do that when you own a business.

What does a sideways world look like?

It’s when you forget simple things such as your pin number that you have had for 15 years for numerous bank cards.

It’s when the butter belongs in the cupboard and sunscreen in the fridge.

It’s when hot chips, and vegemite toast becomes preferable to a good Thai curry and even then you’re sure it will end up in the toilet bowl.

Coffee and wine? Forget it, your nose turns up in teetollar distaste.

It’s when one minute your happy, the next your crying, and then the next you want to tear someones head off and then throw it out the window.

It’s when parts of your brain shut down in order to give life to other areas; with this shut down comes the ability to create, to deal with noise, to talk, to think, and solve problems. All my brain wants me to do is eat, sleep, and breathe.

It’s when an oppressive tiredness pushes on your shoulders and head until your body shrinks and collapses in a heap on the couch- you turn from a person who hates day sleeps to someone who begs for just five more minutes.

It’s that moment when like in the greatest moment of child birth pain, you think to yourself self ” I don’t think I can do this, the light is too far away… but there is no way I can turn back either.”

That is a sideways world.

All of this leads to a place you know is not pretty, but becomes so magical once its over. A place that is filled with sacrifice and pain, yet unconditionally profound love.

And so my sideways world has prevented me from doing much lately, and I am sorry for the lack of depth and presence, but there has been nothing else I can do. Something else has taken control of me.

And while my sideways world sidelines me right now and leaves me begging for the second phase when things become lighter, and happier and glowy, I know not to complain. There are many, many people who would be begging to be living in a sideways manner like me right now.

It is to our delight, while I try to straighten myself up and get back to business, that Craig, Kalyra and I introduce the cause of my sideway-ness.

Say hello to our new addition, coming to visit us somewhere around August 24th and only to be decided by it.

new baby
Hello. Nice to meet you

P.S Please little one, go easy on momma when it is time for you to join us.

74 thoughts on “When the World Turns Sideways”

  1. Woohoo! Congrats on the new addition! Take it from me as I speak from experience – Kalyra will LOVE having a sibling!! My two boys are best friends and it is so fun to see them play with each other. Sure, there will be moments but growing up with two little ones is a lot of fun! Just be prepared for some changes in your own life as well! πŸ™‚

  2. Beautifully written post Caz. Huge congrats on your news, that is so exciting!!! I bet Kalyra can’t wait to have a baby brother/sister πŸ™‚

    L x

  3. Aw huge congratulations to your whole family! I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy and delivery, and can’t wait to “meet” the new addition!

  4. Audrey Desalliers

    Aaaawww, congratulations!!! Get some rest now! Wish you even more happiness with this new addition to the family:)

  5. Laura-Jane Marsden

    Congratulations! That’s brilliant! Hope you get some rest. Our little one arrived in December and he is amazing! We are still planning travelling for later this year!

  6. Congratulations! This is so exciting! Another little traveler to add to the troupe! So happy for both of you. And like Christy said… take your time! Enjoy this!

  7. I had a feeling maybe this was where this post was headed! Congrats!! That’s so exciting for all 3 of you. And, don’t worry — we’ll all still be here once you’re feeling less sideways.

  8. Congratulations! I am so happy for the three of you. I am sure he or she will be as beautiful as the rest of
    the Makepeaces!

    Also, I love the way you wrote this post. I have know idea what it feels like, but you gave me a good idea in your descriptions. Hope you start to feel more clear-headed and healthier soon.

  9. Well,I didn’t see where it was headed until I saw the beginning of the picture! I was preparing myself for the worst! Many, many congrats from someone who adores being a mom. The very best thing I could wish for you is that yours make you as happy as my two have made me…..oh, and nice bit of writing too!

    1. Thanks Cathy. I’m actually pushing for it to come several days earlier so it can be a Leo. Otherwise, I will be severely outnumbered – 3 Virgos and just one lonely Libran.

  10. Oh my god! Congratulations you three!!!! πŸ™‚ What an exciting news! Wow.. I can’t even imagine how happy you are right now.
    Agreed with Jeremy. I have two nephews and they are like best friends. So cute! πŸ™‚

  11. Congrats! Wishing you the best of luck! Very happy for you both and for Kalyra! Now, you know I am wondering about the name for the new little one….will you find inspiration in another winery? πŸ™‚

  12. Oh, this is so funny. I was reading your post and getting alarmed, thinking “Damn, girl, get yourself to a doctor, there’s something seriously wrong with you!” Then I saw the photo. You got me. πŸ™‚ Congratulations!

  13. CONGRATS Caz, Craig and Kalyra!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ So happy for you. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery…and hoping that the baby gets there a few days early. (Leos are the best, not that I’d know or anything!)

  14. WOW!!!!!!!!!! congrats you guys!!
    I haven’t noticed you not being as active on the site or anywhere else I think you are still doing great! Excited for you guys! πŸ™‚

    1. Ha Ha. I’m glad someone spotted it! πŸ™‚ The baby doesn’t stand a chance. Kalyra had been on 7 flights before she was even born. From Oz to the US and back with several domestic flights in between, when I was 5 months pregnant.

  15. Whew!!! I was worried I was about to read some terrible news or something – congrats you guys!!! You’ve obviously had some bigger (or smaller as the case may be) fish to fry the last few weeks. Be healthy, rest and take care of yourself, Caz…the net will wait for you =) Wishing you a wonderful pregnancy and all the best from me and John.

  16. Congratulations, how wonderful! I was worried your sidewaysness was caused by something terrible, like a death in the family or a life-altering diagnosis or something. So glad there’s a good reason for it.

  17. Congratulations! That was souding like it was going to be some really bad news there for a moment. Wonderfully written and put across. I hope you begin to feel better soon. Look forward to reading about your adventures with two little ones!

  18. Aw, congrats! To all of you! I have to say I never went off either coffee or red wine, but can so relate to the brain spazziness. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy…

  19. Congraz to you guys, we will always supporting your page. Caz and your blog sound very sincere and attractive. Anyway, just take a good care of Caz. πŸ™‚

  20. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! πŸ™‚ I thought it was going to be something bad and you had me hooked until the last second to find out it was rather the complete opposite! Congratulations to the two of you! πŸ˜€

  21. Congratulations! What you’ve got is called ‘Mommy Brain’. It’s a real condition. At least that’s what I told people when I was pregnant. (I think I still have a severe case at times) I am so excited for you, and the ride begins, again for you. Enjoy! Much love & light to your whole clan.

  22. Congratulations! That’s wonderful news. Take care of yourself and don’t stress over the blog. You have loyal followers who will continue to support you.

  23. Thanks so much everyone! We are super stoked and overwhelmed with everybody’s good wishes. I am starting to feel normal again and I think I may been leaving the first semester junk behind me. I can smile at Craig again now and I’m starting to make baby preparations and getting excited about it.

  24. Congratulations to you and your family!! I hope that things are starting to look up now that the pregnancy is moving along.

    Can’t wait to hear more about it! I wish you and your family all the best in health and happiness! πŸ™‚

  25. Aww, I was wondering what was wrong with you at first and then I got half way through your post and started to suspect – and then it was confirmed. Congratulations on your new addition to your family.
    Julia and Barry

  26. Totally late to this party – but a HUGE congrats to you all! Glad you are continuing to make beautiful babies that will grow up to share the same beautiful outlook on the world!

  27. Ahhhh, congratulations guys!! As I started reading the post I was thinking “Hmmmm, I wonder if Caz is pregnant?” And then lo and behold a picture of a little jelly bean baby appeared. Very exciting times. I bet Kalyra is stoked to soon be a big sister!

    1. Thanks Rebecca! Kalyra is really stoked. She is already planning the many ways she can help which makes me really excited. She’ll be a great big sister.

  28. Wow. Congratulations you guys! Unlike Rebecca, I did not start reading and think “I wonder if Caz is pregnant?” I am just so happy to hear that you are not suffering from depression.

    1. Ha Ha. At times I think it does feel like that, especially with all the massive changes we’ve had in our life lately. But alas no! I am feeling almost like myself again. Baby has settled into its new home nicely. I can feel it moving and kicking now πŸ™‚

  29. wow guys! have i been in my own world so long!? sorry for the belated congrats- fantastic news!!! such a sweet thing to think about and puts a whole new perspective on your guest post on traveling with kids! warm warm wishes your way πŸ™‚

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