Do I Stop the World to Get Off or Learn How to Respin it?

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Have you ever wanted to reach out a foot and scrape it along the ground so you can stop the world and jump off it?

Trapped in a vortex, you cannot see clearly enough what it is you are doing and why.

Forget even trying to think about what you should do next, the vertigo grips and squeezes all rational thought or ambition out of you.

Learning to respin your world
Photo: http://pinterest.com/bugsonmyface/

I recently wrote a letter to new travel bloggers, giving them the encouragement they need to continue on to the fulfilment of their goals and aspirations.

Sometimes I need to read those words myself.

Wanting to Stop My World

I’ve been struggling.

I grew weary of everything to do with blogging. I couldn’t see what I was doing and why, if I was making a difference anymore, or if I was providing value.

I grew tired of caring about the other stuff. The stats, marketing and promoting; regretting that was a part of what we do here, but knowing I could never avoid it.

Everywhere I turned was arguing, judging, jealousy, and snarky comments in the race to be better than others.

My writing just seemed to plummet off a cliff. I couldn’t string a sentence together. Everywhere I turned someone else’s writing was better than mine which made me want to crawl into the hole of LOSER VILLE.

All I wanted to do was sleep, play with Kalyra, and tickle Savannah and get lost in her bleating giggles.

Playing with Kalyra
Playing with Kalyra

Oh my.

If you ever want to stop the world, it is best to just before you do, wrap yourself in the arms of a baby, and you’ll realize that you’ll never want the world to stop spinning.

I could happily sit there all day and stare at her and watch every move she makes. The way she with unwavering focus tries to grab the toy and unsuccessfully move it into her mouth, laughing as she misses and roots around the air instead.

Savannah grins

All day every day.

But, I couldn’t and I can’t.

Life doesn’t work if you just meditate on the mountaintop; and the warmth and living cuddles of my children would soon grow cold, if I could not feed them.

Knowing that didn’t solve my predicament.

The desire to stop the world and quit.

But quit into what new space?

What else could I do? What else did I want to do?

Like a pendulum the thoughts swang back and forth within me, never pointing me in a clear direction.

The questions left hanging unanswered.

Does that mean we stop asking?

No. It just means the answers are still trying to find themselves.

Sometimes a step back in what we are doing is needed in order for us to go leaping forward. I needed to feel this lull and this need to retreat for very important reasons.

So I can take stock. So I can slow down the world, not stop it, and see just what it is I really need to do.

What is it that is bothering me so much and how can I fix it?

Usually this is a sign that there is something I need to improve in order to become better.

So my issues

  • My health not being optimal
  • My time taken up with so much stuff which affected my sense of peace, my time with my family, and the ability for me to move forward.
  • The feelings of me not being good enough.

Of course this would all make you want to stop the world. But I decided it was time that I learned how to spin it to my beat instead.

During this retreat of mine, where I have relied heavily on posts sitting in draft in my back office and less time spent online, I’ve learned a few things and am improving already.

Most of you have heard we have been participating in a diet, or should I say a return to healthy lifestyle. We have both lost a fair amount of weight, I am getting more sleep and am felling so much more energized and light.

I’m spending far more quality time playing with my children, and absorbing every precious moment of their growth, I know soon that my dear Savannah will no longer have to rely on my arms to carry her around. (Sob)

People have entered my life, not unsurprisingly at the right time with the right answers. There is still much for me to figure out, but I am on my way.

I’ve grown so tired of caring about how many people are reading my posts, if my traffic is increasing, are there comments, are people sharing it, will Google ever love me, have I stumbled today, what about helped others out in forums, checking emails, making money, getting annoyed at major corporations who just don’t get it and want to take advantage of bloggers all the time, and the constant fighting that goes on in the blogosphere.

 

All I want to do really is travel, share it with others, and interact in a fun community.

It’s all this other stuff that just takes over and steals the joy away.

I’m no longer basing my success on that. It’s all about

“Did I make a difference in the life of someone else today?”

And that is all that counts.

Are you Living a Half-Filled Life

I saw Wayne Dyer speak in person last week. If you don’t know who he is, I’d encourage you to discover his words of wisdom and his gentle spirit. He lives his life mission of making sure we all become aware of the “AM that I AM” the greatness that resides in all of us and to know how to get in touch with that. (Many thanks to Lina for taking me with her)

And in doing so making sure that we do not stop the world knowing that we have lived a half-filled life.

Spending your days worrying and steeped in fear means that you are living a half filled life. Caring and allowing your life to be dominated by things that don’t inspire you or fill you with joy is living a half filled life.

The stuff was dragging me down. I’m learning to free it up and focus on just the things that make me feel the joy, which is why I’m doing this in the first place.

Part of that for me, means approaching that subject that terrifies me.

The quality of my writing.

Quite frankly it stinks.

And I know that I have control over my own life. I could wallow around in my own self-pity, and in true masochistic form, hang out with those that are better than me and start stopping the world, because I am such a failure I really need to jump.

Or… I can do something proactive about it.

Wayne Dyer has taught me to spend my days focusing on that which I want to be in the form of already being it.

So from now on I say I am a talented writer, knowing that I’ve already achieved that, I’m just waiting for my hands to catch up to that truth.

Instead of feeling inferior to those who are better than me, I’m letting them instead inspire and teach me.

I completed a freelance travel writing course last weekend which gave me some confidence to know I can do it. (And if you are interested in freelance writing, then watch this space as I am going to share my journey with you through vlogs)

I have armed myself with books and courses on writing in the hopes that some of their magic will rub off on me.

And I have forcibly removed myself from all but one online group. It’s a group that still maintains the spirit of positivity and helpfulness.

The focus is not getting involved in petty arguments, but improving my craft in order to provide a better experience for those who want to travel the world and life a full life.

The Travel Itch is a Respinning of the World

I think as travellers we are used to wanting to stop the world and jump off. It’s that itch that won’t go away, the urge to quit our jobs, sell all our possessions in search of….

None of us really know, we just know we need to stop our old ways as they are causing us to lead a half filled life. We need to sit back, take stock and allow the answers to the questions to come to us.

It’s only then that we learn how to respin the world into the full life we all desire.

I don’t need to stop the world. I just need to learn to spin it a new way

Have you learned to respin the world into the full life you desire?

P.S I will be sharing a lot about what I have learned lately and throughout my life on living a full life at Mojito Mother. Come join me over there to learn more.

 

34 thoughts on “Do I Stop the World to Get Off or Learn How to Respin it?”

  1. “All I wanted to do was sleep, play with Kalyra, and tickle Savannah and get lost in her bleating giggles.”

    I can totally relate to this post, and especially to this line, as my daughter offers a similar sense of playful escape for me. We’ve been working so hard trying to get GGT big enough to monetize that I’ve been sick for over a month now, and both my writing and our numbers are suffering as a result. I’m honestly tired of caring, and other circumstances beyond my control have me switch my focus to other things at the moment. I keep reminding myself “Whatever will be, will be,” and staying focused on our central mission to make the world a better place, and hopefully everything will work out for the best. Glad you’re taking steps towards finding your own happiness.

    1. Our children are such a blessing. They keep me grounded and motivate me to create a joyful life together as a family.

      I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had a rough month as well. You are doing such an awesome job and are so supportive to everyone in the community and to our earth. I think we have to have peaks and troughs. The troughs are just helping us to gather up the steam we need to reach the peak again.

      I think I am dropping the caring about the things that don’t matter. I only check my stats once a week now which has been truly liberating. I’m achieving so much more because my time and energy is going to those things that I really care about. It’s hard to let go like that but you need to.

      Let go and trust. You and Mary are making the world a better place already, just by being in it 🙂

  2. What a pleasure to read this on a Monday morning! I especially like the part about why one writes, for the joy of community and not stats. We’re still new at this game but I started getting overwhelmed with the idea that maybe what we’re writing is useless, etc but then I simply ignored and started enjoying myself. And if someone reads, than that’s great. And so this morning I got a message from a friend saying he’s now going to a travel show because of something I wrote. It brings you a smile and shows you the real reason we’re doing this ; for our love of travel and to spread the passion! Thanks Caz!

    1. They are the best messages to get Caro! Makes you realize that what you are doing is important and it doesn’t have to be on a large scale. Sometimes we complicate things and put too much pressure on ourselves. I’m learning just to let go and trust that things will work out for me, if I just focus on doing the things I love then it can only work out.

  3. Such honesty and transparency. I love it. I’ve been there, we all have. I was at a similar spot just a couple months ago. There are a lot of questions that often come. Sometime it’s just needing to get away, but sometimes it’s much deeper. For me, it meant that it was time to reinvent my life and career. It was about finding this intersection of innovation where my passions, purpose, and skills collide and I find myself much happier and feeling like I’m living purposeful as a result. You guys are so loved and respected in the travel community, I’m sure you’ll get the affirmation and support to help you. Look forward to seeing how you guys continue to evolve!

    1. Thanks Spencer! You know I adore you. And you are definitely an example for so many of us to follow.

      I think it’s so important to pay attention to the questions, not the answers. Accept that the answers will come if you open up to it and allow them to arrive in their own time. That’s the problem is having the patience to wait and not get frustrated. And then finding the courage to act on the answers!

      1. Well I adore you guys too! You hit on a great point about paying attention to the questions. I think that’s half the battle is realizing that there are questions that need to be answered, yet being alright with not having the answers. It took years to get to this point, but I’m one to walk up to the cliff and look down, but then take a few steps back and get a running start and jump. The outcome isn’t always as planned, since there isn’t always a plan, but with some course correcting, I get headed down the right path. For me, it’s been about making sure that I make the necessary tweaks when I realize what they are and not continue on in unhappiness or without purpose. So often people get comfortable and they just continue on as they are because it’s what they know. As scary as it can be, the process of evolving can really be exciting and I look forward to see how you guys, evolve, adapt, and innovate.

  4. I definitely have that ‘stop the world’ feeling right now! I travel blog for a hobby, not for a business, because I can’t imagine me ever caring much about statistics & google rankings etc. I also work full time while launching a business in the next month, so I feel pressured now (though I know it will be worth it in the end).

    Then days like yesterday happen when work blows up at me for being late in traffic, and they got upset at me because I don’t stress over traffic (because I can’t change or control it). I don’t have the time to care how others feel right now, as horrible as that sounds, but unfortunately until my business is up and running I have to pretend I do, making it harder to respin the world how I want it to be.

    1. I think you are smart to not worry about traffic, as you said you can’t control or change it- one of the only things we can’t.

      I can imagine the extra stress you are under launching a new business. Make sure you spend some down time, I know how hard it is but even if it is just for 20 minutes. Maybe a walk to clear your head.

      I wish schools focused more on teaching us how to manage the pressure in our lives.

      IT will be worth it in the end, just ride the storm for now, it’s making you stronger.

  5. I have been going through this for the past 10 months on and off ever since my dad got ill. It’s horrible. It’s a sick cycle of worry and anxiety and it does nothing good for you or anyone around you. The worst part is knowing that and still not being able to get out of your own head. I felt pretty dead inside because things that I cared about no longer really meant anything to me and it was almost like I woke up every day and had no idea at all what to do with myself. Traveling slightly made it better, but honestly not much. A whole new set of anxieties came with being far away. Of course my health suffered too, i was sick for months on end and also gained a lot of weight. No fun. But I’ve been working really hard at looking on the positive side of life and sometimes it’s hard but it helps. I got a juicer for my birthday and that has actually really helped too. Straight up vitamins from the source are a good thing! I think you are being a bit too hard on yourself – your writing is great, your blog is great and everyone adores you and your family. I know it’s hard to see that but it’s going to get better – just keep plugging along and one day the world will be spinning in a better direction and you’ll wonder why you were so bummed out before. 🙂

    1. I’m so sorry Beth. It sounds like you’ve been put through the wringer this last year too. Life can sometimes be a little too overwhelming and challenging. I can understand why you want to stop the world wtih your dad being so sick.

      After my recent surgeries it’s made me realize how important our health is. We need to be making it priority and that includes dealing with our stresses and trying to turn it around to peace and happiness. I think the juicer will be such a great start for you. I would so love a juicer- straight up vitamins, no sugar.

      I recently discovered carrot and pineapple juice- sounds like a weird combo but so fresh and delicious.

      This too shall pass will be our new mantra. Here’s to a healthy and happy 2012 for all of us

  6. I can completely relate and I’m glad you have found some peace. I don’t know how you guys have kept up with all the social media stuff for this long. I can’t keep up with everything, so I choose what I feel is important. I recently wrote a post that helped me understand that I need to enjoy the moment more and not care so much about the outcome.

    Focusing on our health is always a good decision and I have had to spend less time away from the computer in order to do this, but I feel great and wouldn’t have it any other way. It sounds like you are on the right path. 🙂

    1. IT’s been so hard. You’ve maintained a pretty full on pace, especially with having Savannah and Kalyra. I’m feeling so much better since I stopped caring about the outcome. Our sites have been crashing a bit lately and it hasn’t even bothered me that they have been down. Before I would have thought it was the end of the world.

  7. Caz, Thanks so much for your post. Lately, I have been feeling a bit lost. For me, a traditional job seems like such an easier path, but I know it would lead to a half-filled life and kill my travel dreams. I appreciate you opening up yourself and sharing your feelings. Today, you helped & inspired me 🙂

    1. That is the connundrum isn’t it? I keep thinking about the ease and certainity of a return to the job world, but really how will that keep me in joy. I love the blogging and I feel its what I should be doing but it is so so difficult. I think it will pay off eventually, just keep at it. You and Bret are doing amazing things

  8. Heartwarming article Caz, one that 99.1% of the blogosphere can probably relate to (even if they aren’t admitting to it!). And your writing has a clarity and honesty that is refreshing, so don’t stop. As an older Mum, I can’t tell you how fast the child-rearing years go, and how much you sometimes yearn for them when they are over, so I can only commend you on taking time out to love, kiss, hug and snuggle with your littlies. Raising two new beautiful women is more important than blog stats. Keep writing but Keep Cuddling too 🙂

    1. You are so right- I love that I am partly responsible for raising two new beautiful women, although that can be a very fightening thought. My girls are so lovely and they are my priority. I can’t get enough of them at the moment.

  9. I need to read this article once a week, forever. I struggle with the concept of writing for “an audience”, so, I’m just writing for myself. If other people enjoy it, well, that’s just a bonus!

    Your writing is great, and as Laurence said, “heartfelt”. Most people, myself included, can’t write that way (yet!). So, you’re already providing something unique to the world. Just remember to do what *you* want to do, and that family well and truly comes first.

    Nate

    1. Thank you Nate. And I think your writing is great. I’ve been stalking your site. I think you have a warm and likeable voice which will attract many. Keep being you- I think that is the key.

  10. A beautifully written and perfectly timed article, thank you Caz.It is reassuring to hear that you too query these feelings.Family is everything- Children grow up so quickly that it is important to enjoy every moment you can of their early years.You can’t get them back!

    1. Absolutely. Savannah has already grown so much. I want to treasure every moment with my girls and don’t want the stuff I don’t enjoy to take over from that. Thank you Jenny

  11. Will - Gap Daemon

    Wow! What an honest and inspiring post. As a 26-year-old still very much sucked into the throws of what you describe it’s very interesting to see how parenthood and family changes your perspective and makes you thankful for the simplicity of things. It’s something I realised when I came home from exile at Christmas – you can do and go anywhere but you can never change who and where you came from.

    1. Parenthood changes you in so many ways, Ways you never thought possible. You won’t believe how overjoyed you get just by little things like your baby holding their own hands and a smile- It’s amazing how as adults we don’t really notice just how wonderful a smmile is but bring a baby in the room and you would stand on your head just to get one out of them.

      You are right your core will always be there.

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