It first started nudging its way into my soul in Broome. We stayed there for five weeks, the longest time in any one place on this road trip.
Every morning I rose at 5:30 to meditate and attend a 90 minute yoga class. It was effortless.
The day was then spent with a semi routine of tag team work, pool swims, beach play, and exploratory days here and there. We had our local cafe and sunset bar and friends.
I felt the bliss and I knew where my soul was calling me.
A home of my own.
Since we rolled out of Broome my passion and desire for this road trip disintegrated with every mile. The wow had gone and I started to see more of how travel was getting in the way of things I wanted a little more.
I’d evolved. My soul wanted some grounding. Some space for separation and a time to explore other parts of me. It must have been those damn upward dogs. I swear they open you up to different dimensions and close off the doors to the old ones.
It’s been a battle to stay wide eyed with wonder and enthusiasm as we have traveled through the most extraordinary areas in Australia. I’ve loved it, and we’ve made many precious memories, but lately it’s been more of a kinda dragging the feet embrace rather than a race into the wind one.
It got so bad that I had to admit, “I don’t think I can do this any more” to finally “I’m not going to do this any more.”
So it is with a little sadness in our hearts that we tell you our road trip is almost over.
I’m so sad because we’ve wanted to explore South Australia for so long. We’ve heard so many amazing things about it, and how it’s one of Australia’s most underrated states. It’s been my dream to visit Kangaroo Island and the Barossa Valley. Now that we’re here for just a few days, there’s a little voice inside of me that says,
“Well maybe while we’re here, we should explore South Australia. We should just suck it up and check off the lists.”
But, that’s the voice of fear and denial. It’s a little frightened of this new road ahead and wants to hold tight to the life and the person it’s always known.
Deep down inside I know I’ll break if I push it. I don’t want to do that to me, and I don’t want to experience this South Australia in the frame of mind where I don’t really care. I don’t want to visit South Australia with thoughts in my head of “Oh God when is this going to be over.” And I don’t believe in travel just to check things off a list.
I don’t have the energy to appreciate it fully. We will return one day with a spring in our step and that excited new love skip. The one that comes when you first set out on an adventure that does have a finite end and you know each day has to be counted and enjoyed fully.
We know how excited our community was for us to explore South Australia, and we were determined to do it for you. But, we soon realized that breaking ourselves spiritually and financially was not what you’d want for us either.
Australia is an expensive land to travel and the cost is starting to get to us. The time we have to spend on our own business activities is low so we both want to stop the trip for awhile, regroup, and focus on building the resources back up and creating better content, products, services and more security for our future.
Of course when the right decision is made, the Universe will step in to support you. It kept throwing up road blocks to South Australia and opening up doors to safely and gently carry us home.
So, we’re heading – I can’t say home as we don’t have one – but we’re heading back to the east coast over the next 4-6 weeks via the Red Centre and Outback Queensland.
You know it’s so strange, but we reversed from our road trip last year just before we hit South Australia and we’ve halted it now. Both times I just couldn’t envision myself there, which I feel is a very big part of creation. For some reason, it was as if I knew my future wouldn’t be there so the dreaming was irrelevant.
But, everything in my body – the yearning and the visions – speaks Uluru. Uluru. Uluru. To turn from the most stunning coastline we’ve ever seen and go inland. Back to the red dust and a giant red rock that changes colour with the setting sun. The centre of an ancient and spiritual land.
We always envisioned Uluru would be the perfect end to the road trip and I still want that to happen. It’s one place we can’t miss!
When I was teaching in the US, my students and I would put on an Australia Day cultural experience for the entire school. The kids would do projects on different aspects of Australian life and create a display to share. We’d have Australian food, games, and music to try.
I painted a big picture of Uluru and the poem My Country for the exhibition.
As we’d work on our projects, I’d always play the song, “Raining on the Rock, by John Williamson and for the past few days that’s all I’ve been humming. It’s just bubbled up for me. I have to see Uluru and I think my spirit somehow needs to go there.
Have you ever had the experience of being drawn to a place so deeply and you’re not sure why?
And it’s all worked so perfectly for us to go up there. We’ll spend two – three weeks in the red centre, then through the Outback Queensland (Winton and Longreach) to the Gold Coast region. I’m also being called to Burleigh Heads. It’s just the name that keeps jumping out of my soul.
If not Burleigh, we’ll endeavor to find a place to stay somewhere on the Gold Coast.
Once there, we’ll base ourselves for a bit until we work out a longer term plan. We want to get some systems in place for the business and develop a few ideas so it can demand less of our time. And I’m needing large doses of rest, sleep, wholesome food, exercise, routine and stillness.
The plan is to put Kalyra back in a school, which we are all excited about. I really want for her to start pursuing some of her own interests as well like tennis, dancing and drama. And for her to have lots of friends to play with.
She’s made a few lovely friends on our travels. I love how she connects so easily with other children in campsites, and I really enjoy it when they all hang around our camper. I think it will be nice to have that home filled with kids. (I’m certainly not going to be birthing another one to fill it up!)
We were considering doing a US road trip for 1-2 years after this one. My response lately to Craig,
“There is no way in hell I’m doing that. Not right now. And definitely not in the style we’ve done this one.”
Although our beautiful girl, Kalyra said to me the other night while colouring together,
“Mum. I don’t want to be travelling anymore. “
“I hear you baby girl. Neither do I. We’re moving to get our own place for a while.”
“Yes. But, I do want to do a road trip of the US.”
Isn’t that the sign of a true gypsy heart? Always planning the next adventure, scared to give up the state of movement. Travel is definitely not over for us. We know that in six months time we’ll be itching to go somewhere else.
We’re just popping the suitcases away for a bit. We’ll still be taking trips and exploring more of Queensland (and Australia and who know’s where) but it will be shorter holidays – an experience rather than a lifestyle.
And Craig, well, he just wants to move back to the US. But that’s another story to write.
For the first time in my life I’m wanting a settled life over a nomadic one. I felt the pull of that as we drove away from Western Australia across the Nullarbor. The vastness of that journey is a portal for reflection.
I felt the pull and it caught my breath. The fear if it began to enter my heart. I’m moving away from the only life I’ve ever known and I’m scared of what that means, and even if I’m capable enough of living it.
I wanted to cry, yet dance at the same time in celebration for the most amazing travel life and memories I’ve had for the past 18 years.
It’s terrifying to think I’m possibly giving that up. Or, more trying it from a different angle. And this undiscovered part of me is calling me to do it.
Who is that person without that travel and who is she destined to become?
Through the panic and the sadness the voice clearly spoke,
“It’s time Caroline.”
We hope you continue to join us for the journey.