Reason Why You Won’t Travel Number 2: Too many responsibilities

“You’ll never have enough money to buy all the stuff you don’t really need, and you’ll never have enough time to do all the things you don’t really want to do” Gay Hendricks

Want to know how to travel more? Take ownership back of your life and your time.

What are your responsibilities and why are you allowing them to control your life?

The excuse of no time, or too much responsibility, is a cover up for the fear we feel. We are frightened to do what we really want. We’re frightened of failure, of rejection, and not being good enough.

Break your patterns.

What are your priorities? How are they aligning with what you are actually doing?

Don’t let your life be dictated by things that don’t bring you joy and satisfaction. Within each day, there are things that have to be done, but what can you do to minimize them?

Put yourself and your dreams first. If you dedicate the largest chunk of your day to doing tasks associated with your dreams, you’ll slip into a zone of joy and flow where time seems to expand for you. You get more done and you feel happy, more capable, and in control.

Travel removes responsibilities

Responsibilities lessen when you travel. Your soul’s natural state is freedom; it’s purpose is to thrive and grow. It’s called evolution. You can’t expand and grow when you are placed in a box, which responsibilities do.

That is not to say we have to give up all responsibilities and do nothing. There are many tasks we have to do in order to progress. The soul gets that. But, it abhors menial tasks that don’t contribute to its growth, like cleaning and attending meetings you can’t stand attending.

Ask yourself, what are the responsibilities you feel so burdened with? Do you really want to be doing them? Are they helping you find happiness? Are they bringing you fulfillment? Or are they I have to do because I feel I have to?

Craig and I had our wedding three days before we left for our five-year overseas honeymoon in 2002. Only a month before, we bought our first investment property in a different state, which we had to close on and then rent. Plus, we had our own home we had to pack up and rent. We had a wedding and farewell party to prepare, cars to sell, jobs to leave, a job to organize in Thailand, and a round the world trip to prepare.

It was insane. We swallowed our fear and did what we had to do. The bills vanished, the renters took over the mortgage, and we travelled (via working holiday programs) for 5 years.

Not enough time and too many responsibilities. Can I call excuse on that?

We understand about responsibility and time. We constantly hear people within the blogging sphere complain of no time to do things, which is why they can’t succeed. It’s not a lack of time, it’s a lack of prioritizing and allowing fear to control everything instead.

How do we know?

How have we managed then to create the success we have had despite our responsibilities and time pressure? Here’s what has happened for us the past 3 years since we started our blogging:

  • A financial disaster where we lost nearly $500,000 (massive emotional drain on time)
  • An international relocation we did not want
  • No money, no job, no possessions
  • Having to live with Craig’s parents
  • A miscarriage (12 weeks of pregnancy sickness before it happened—huge physical drain on time)
  • Full-time and part-time jobs
  • Craig had a slipped disc for several months
  • Pregnancy (First 12 weeks had to lie on the couch from feeling so off)
  • Birth of second child
  • Relationships issues
  • Raising two children and playing endless games of hide and seek
  • Lots of travel (yay – but is also very time consuming and sucks up our work on the business time, let alone everything else)
  • I’ve had 4 surgeries
  • I’ve also had a serious health challenge that has consumed the past 6 months of my life in healing it (all done yay!)
  • And, of course, the usual soul and time sucking chores of cleaning, maintaining and revolving your life around the payment of bills and debt.

It’s about commitment and drive and choosing to not make excuses; to turn lemons into lemonade, and keeping your eye on your dream always. If we are able to turn it around to create the life we want, despite all these responsibilities and time challenges, then you can too.

Only four months ago we decided to follow our dream and travel Australia, despite our responsibilities and limitations. We switched the thinking.

[ybox_large] “What are we doing living a life that only drains us and makes us unhappy? What is it we really want? Why don’t we just choose to live it?” [/ybox_large]

Travelling and being with our girls and working on our business are the three things that fulfil us the most. If we continued to say no to this, our life would be defined by everything and everyone else: controlled by trying to manage the bills, running around to appointments and events we feel obligated to go to, cleaning and maintaining our stuff.

And then trying to fit in small pockets of joy and freedom.

We tried it for 3 years and failed miserably. We felt pressured, stressed, desperately unhappy and like total prisoners. Everything suffered: our health, our relationships, our sense of self-worth, and happiness.

Life is too precious to be spending it every day managing the responsibilities that don’t give us meaning. You can change it.

Put your happiness and fulfilment priorities first and watch how the Universe accommodates you.

How we have now prioritized right

We left for our road trip 3 weeks ago.

We had to pack up all our belongings; prepare Kalyra for distance education; continue to manage our full-time business; write and launch our own products; manage huge setbacks in our business which added immense pressure to fix it; go away to speak at conferences; deal with everyday stuff and manage health challenges, which took at least 3 hours every week.

It was so unbelievably stressful and I felt that the responsibilities were too much and we’d have to can the trip. But, we thought of the alternative – an unhappy and unfulfilled life – so we focused on the free life we wanted and got the shit done.

And here we are now in blissdom on the road.

It’s flowing effortlessly – I like to say magically – because we changed our focus of our priorities.

Case in point: 3 years ago I started writing this travel ebook. I kept putting it off saying I had no time and too many responsibilities. Since then, my responsibilities have doubled.

Yet, in the past 3 months, we dedicated all our time to writing this book and got it done. My consistent thought pattern is, “What the hell was I doing with all my time for the past 3 years?”

[ybox_large]I had it focused on the wrong priorities served by fear. [/ybox_large]

Do that which serves you and brings you the most joy and you will experience a freedom and happiness you never knew existed. You’ll be stunned at how time simply opens up to help you get it done.

Get rid of all the tasks and possessions that steal away all your time in just management. If they don’t serve a purpose,  remove them.

Dr. Wayne Dyer, a popular spiritual teacher, says,

The more you own the more imprisoned you become as you have to spend so much money on just keeping these things around.

Think about it: insurance, running costs, repair costs, rental space. When you travel, you clear the junk and become free.

Don’t let mundane, daily, essentially unimportant responsibilities hold you down in the box. Release your fear and climb out.

[ybox_large] What are your priorities? What is going to give you the best life with the most amount of memories? Serve that life only. [/ybox_large]

Start doing it today. Make a list of what you need to do to achieve that dream life. Make another list of everything you are doing right now because you feel you have to. Start eliminating things off that list to make room for the former.

Commit to it. You’ll be blown away by the magic that unfolds to support your dream.

If we can do it, there is no reason you can’t. Just like you, we’ve had everything against us:  no money, no time, plenty of responsibilities, and a shit load of fear.

Overcome the shit load of fear and a plan will appear for the rest.

How are you prioritizing your responsibilities?

Is it getting in the way of your dreams?

Read ore reasons why you won’t travel and what to do

  1. I can’t leave my family and friends
  2. My career will suffer
  3. It’s not safe and I’ll be alone
  4. I don’t have any money

Too many responsibilities

28 thoughts on “Reason Why You Won’t Travel Number 2: Too many responsibilities”

  1. Fantastic. The soul crushing menial tasks part really hit home with me.

    Makes me want to add up all the time spent:
    -dry cleaning (.5hr/week)
    -yard work (1hr l/week)
    -commuting to/from work (5hrs/week)

    If we only account for those 3, we’re talking:
    6.5hrs/week
    328hrs/year
    13days/year

    If you told everyone they would spend 520days over their 40 year working life commuting, yard work, and doing their dry cleaning I think more people would travel 🙂

    1. LOVE those stats!!! Awesome. I can’t tell you how much time we’ve reclaimed now by eliminating this stuff and replacing it with family bike rides and relaxing walks.

    2. Very eye-opening stats! I would just say that I consider gardening a time of “working meditation.” I actually really like the time I spend watering plants and making the garden look good. But there are plenty of other menial tasks I hate- vacuuming and doing dishes spring immediately to mind- that I spend that hour each week on, easily!

      1. I completely agree Stephanie… I love caring for my plants and gardening wouldn’t make my list of “soul crushing menial tasks” (just yard work such as mowing the lawn, raking leaves, shoveling snow, etc)

        Vacuuming/Dishes: Those make me shutter!

        Since we both are going to remove those soul-crashing tasks from our life (..right?) — Big plans for your newly freed up 520 days?

      2. Ugh, I hate dishes. I cook every night so I can pass that task over to Craig! I am so hopeless when it comes to gardening, but I do dream of having my own veggie patch one day. I can definitely see how it’s meditative.

        1. That’s a fair trade 🙂 I’d much rather do the cooking too!

          Writing a mini eBook on tips to master expenses – one section is dedicated to making a garden profitable and convenient. If you’d like I’ll send it to you when complete. Guessing inside of 2 weeks.

  2. “Overcome the shit load of fear and a plan will appear for the rest.” Love this… we’ve already committed to making the jump (plane tickets bought, sold a bunch of stuff etc.), but the fear is still there – I think the only way to get rid of THAT is to just do this! 🙂 Can’t wait though!

    1. Wahoo! Good for you Sheralyn. We had a crap load of fear for our current road trip. It was a massive decision. But, since being on the road, that fear has disappeared as I can see how the Universe is supporting us and how powerful we are in creating what we need to make it work. The Universe has your back- follow your heart, you will not regret it.

  3. Really great post about not making excuses!
    I too have gone through a lot the past few years traveling with my health (not-so-fun ambulance rides, stitches, hospitalizations, etc.) but it’s never stopped me from pursuing what’s most important to me. I’m still on the road!

    1. Good for you Beth. Health can be a big reason why people won’t travel, and quite a relevant one really, BUT you can make it work. I struggle a little now with my dietary requirements and it is a gigantic pain the butt, but I deal with it because I know I want the travel more. Plus the mental health benefits are extraordinary.

  4. I fully agree with this, and I see it day to day at my restaurant. People making tons of cash but are perpetually un-happy. The make tons of cash and want to do something they love but responsibilities, bills, work, and in general society gets in the way. And their own lifestyle choice gets in the way from evolution and growth.

    After letting go of all perceived responsibilities, getting rid of all of my possessions, and leaving my job next week…the last step was to release the responsibilities I felt towards others to. I always thought I had to prove myself to someone or my remaining family, and it always tortured me. When I finally released myself from that, I’ve felt more free than ever.

    1. Oh that is such a huge topic Ryan, the responsibilities you feel towards others. Thank you for bringing that up. There’s probably no bigger burden because it is an emotional and spiritual one and not something you can often dump or leave.. Good for you for recognizing how it was holding you back. I am sure with the letting go of that, the space will open up for healing and growth. As you said, you’ve welcomed in liberation as a result.
      I can’t wait to hear about your next adventure. It’s going to be epic.

  5. “The more you own the more imprisoned you become as you have to spend so much money on just keeping these things around.” this is what got me going, i just stoped one day and took a good hard look and, realised how stupid it was, when it had no real value for me. It’s just darn hard to explain to others when they question it, however i’m glad that im “free” at least. 🙂

    1. Oh yes. It has really sucked at my soul for the past few years. when you have children it gets so much worse. You worry about providing for them so you can go a little overboard, but what is even worse is that everyone else around you does. Even when you tell them to stop they just keep coming with stuff to fill every crevice. It drove me insane. I can’t even explain how free I feel now knowing that the only toys my children own belong in a 2x 1 ft box. And they don’t even play with them. They are having far too much fun hanging out with Craig, I and nature every day. The best thing we own and have brought with us right now are our bikes. They give us daily joy and memorable moments as we explore the local area. LIBERATION!

  6. Your post really struck a cord with me! I moved from the states to the UK over 3 years ago, for my husband’s job, without ever having been abroad. Before moving, I would work myself to death, I would literally have my laptop out a dinner just to catch up with pointless emails. I am also ashamed to say that I brought work with me on my honeymoon (on one of our only vacations). I would not travel or focus on the important things in life that need attention, instead I created more stress for myself. We took a leap, across the pond, of faith, and here we are with 20 countries under our belt. Our perspectives have changed, our relationship has grown stronger, and we’ve eaten some really damn good food along the way. Life is better when you put the important things first! A good book suggestion for your readers is ‘Today Matters” by John C. Maxwell. He talks about those very concepts. Thanks again for sharing!

    1. Thank you for the book recommendation Julie! I will check that out for sure. I love hearing your story and thank you for sharing. It so highlights everything I am talking about. I’m so glad you moved to the UK. And life is always better when you spend each day eating good food 🙂

  7. That should be an eye-opening for many! I really appreciate your spirit and guts to travel with your kids despite so many things going behind the scenes. We only get to see the good stuff – your gorgeous travel pictures and updates, but we don’t know about what you guys have gone through to make your dream a reality. Commendable!

    1. I think it’s really important to share what’s behind the scenes, so people understand that everyone goes through struggles and if some people can make this work despite it, then everyone really can. We’ve always had the belief, “If they can do it, why not I?” We like to help others believe that too.

  8. LOVING this post. That is so true.

    For me it took facing my future to get me to understand what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve always been VERY conservative and I thought that you were a failure, a freak, an outcast if you didn’t get a great education and then worked your ass off to make lots of money.

    So, with no gap years or real travel experience behind me, I started studying Law while working my ass off whenever I didn’t have to be at campus. Most crappy time of my life. A minor depression and a lot of soul seeking later, I dropped out of Law, travelled all by myself to San Francisco, met incredible people, returned home and started focusing on my online business. One year later, my boyfriend and I hit the road. It’s four months ago, and we feel amazing.

    People worry for us when they hear how we sold our stuff and rented out our apartment. But really it’s the best thing ever! Not having all this responsibility dragging you down is the best thing we’ve ever done! Once you overcome the fear, your life becomes amazing. True story!

    Can’t wait for the next post on why you won’t travel. Such a great topic! Rock on, guys. 🙂

    1. Thanks Celia. It’s so great to hear more of your story and to see how much your life has changed for the better by shaking a lot of that responsibility that was only dragging you down. So inspiring.

  9. Very very interesting and informative post ! I like your every post very much and always wait for your next post. Thanks for sharing your experience.

  10. I have that gypsy soul you speak of, and my desire to travel runs deep. My responsibility is to my child. I have a 7 year old daughter, and unfortunately her father and I are not together. I am since re-married, but her father and I share joint legal custody and I have sole physical custody. Do you think it would be possible to bring her with us legally, should I decide to teach English as a second language abroad. Have you met anyone along your travels in a similar situation? I know it would be a wonderful experience for her too. Just wanted to pick your brain and your experiences!!

    1. Oh that makes things are little challenging Sheri. I can’t really give you any advice on that, I’d recommend speaking to your lawyer to see what the legalities of it are. And of course chat with your ex-husband. Apart from that you can absolutely take your daughter with you.

  11. Curious: How do your kids feel about constantly being on the road?

    (I taught ESL to college students in China for three years – save summers – when I was in my mid-20s. I miss traveling, but I HAAAATED teaching. HAAAAAAATE. Introvert + Teaching = A Bad Time. lol)

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