Travelling is something that can make or break a relationship.
A short relaxing holiday usually isn’t where the problem lies, more so during long-term travel periods where issues can arouse more, stresses build up, and irritability shows.
Travel is not all cheap beer and street food (although a decent chunk of it). Mostly long-term travel requires a lot of effort daily, especially if you’re moving around a lot.
The relationship pressures are numerous
Trying to communicate with people whose language we don’t speak, working out how to get from A to B, being surrounded by people who don’t understand us, or are trying to rip us off (insert country you’ve been ripped off by the most by here).
You feel so foreign and out of place. Constant frustration towards each other builds and, if not dealt with from the place of harmony, can make for a stressful holiday.
Travelling with someone you love, whether it be a friend, relative or partner is one of the most rewarding experiences ever. If you can still manage to smile at the end of each day and say “I can’t wait for tomorrow” then it’ll make every darned sleepless night on a Vietnamese death trap/bus worth it.
Below are 5 tips for couples travel if you find yourself wanting to pull your hair out while travelling with a buddy:
1. Remind yourself who you’re with
If you find yourself in a distressing situation, remind yourself that this is someone you care about enough to dedicate months of your life to travel with. Before you show your frustration, breathe and remember why.
Nothing has changed between the two of you, just a couple of additional stresses, so it’s totally pointless taking things out on each other and jeopardizing the relationship.
2. Accept them for who they are and they will accept you as you
We all have our quirks and one of the best ways to let things go, in travel and in life, is to accept people as they are.
It’s not my job to create someone I love, but rather love them for who they are.
If you have totally opposing opinions, have a chat about it, agree to disagree and move on. If you can’t move on, have a tequila shot each, remember how horrible that tastes and pinky-promise each other to never get to that stage again.
3. Talk! Don’t assume your partner can read your mind
We usually expect a lot from our partners, especially wanting them to know what we’re thinking without us having to actually use our vocal chords.
Life would be easier if we could read each other’s minds, but since we haven’t worked out how to do that yet, you’re going to have to talk to your pal.
The longer you leave it bottled up, the more it’ll annoy you and the more you’ll lash out at them because of your frustration. Sit down, express your feelings and create a new plan.
They picked you to spend all this time with too so it’s unlikely that your opposing opinion will be a deal-breaker. It will, however, open the doors for more thorough communication and a much more enjoyable [bus] ride.
4. Put the camera (and phone) down and engage with your partner
Exploring in a new place can bring on many wonderful experiences and emotions.
These may be once in a lifetime opportunities so by all means click away and take it all in. However, don’t forget to put the camera down, go for a walk, share a coffee, enjoy dinner or dessert and spend some quality time together.
The days can be long and exhausting but it’s important to make the effort to chill out and appreciate each other.
5. Be authentic
In whatever you do, be true to yourself first.
You may encounter some struggles along the way and what you choose to do is defined by who you are and what you believe in. If there is something you really don’t want to do, don’t do it. If they really want to go, let them.
Travelling with someone doesn’t mean you need to be permanently connected at the hip! You will share many amazing experiences together but you also need to respect that you are there for your own reasons too.
Just remember though that some of the most amazing experiences while travelling usually come when we least expect them.
So while you need not do anything you don’t want to, don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone either. It’s all part of this crazy ride called life.
Want more couples travel tips?
- 9 tips for couples travel
- How travel can strengthen a relationship
- My partner doesn’t want to travel – 7 ways to change their mind
Tell us:
Is there anything you can add? In the comments below share one of your couples travel tips. Or do you have a funny relationship-travel story?
Great advice! I feel like it could be applied to any relationship anywhere, not just while travelling but when you travel yes, it’s very important! Cheers guys! 🙂
Absolutely! Any relationship would benefit from these tips. I’m glad you enjoyed the post 🙂
Accepting people how they are is the hardest for me whether we are travelling or at home. But I think for families today the tip to put the phone down and communicate is so important. I think that partners and children feel undervalued when we are glued to our mobile phones.
I agree. I personally feel horrible when someone picks up their phone to Facebook stalk while we’re together.
Great post. I’ve always been a solo traveler but recently got into the relationship. The best part is: he is a nomad! Now it’s time to plan couple trips, first up – 7 days in Puerto Rico. Wish us luck 🙂
Yay!! Picking up a nomad is the best and your first stop sounds pretty rad 😉
Lovely 🙂 Especially because tomorrow starts a 24hr journey, as a start for a month long roadtrip. So… plenty of stressful sleep deprived moments probably. But also lots of love 🙂
Sounds great! I’m sure your road trip will be rewarding enough to outweigh the occasional sleepless nights 😉
This is a good post and just in time! My boyfriend will be in Taiwan within the next few months and I’m really excited but also nervous about the pressures traveling together can put on a relationship. Some great tips, guys!
Thanks 🙂
How exciting for you both! It can put some pressures on the relationship but it’s also one of the best experiences ever 🙂
We have used these tips in some form or the other in our travels 🙂 Number 4 always used to be a problem with me trying to capture everything on my camera ending up ignoring Savi (unintentionally of course), but increasingly we spend more time absorbing the place than trying to take a picture of every nook and corner !
I think that is very important.
That feeling can never be captured in a photo so it’s so lovely to just ‘be’ while absorbing it all up. I’m glad it’s working better for you both 🙂
Great advice – I am slightly worried I might drive my partner mad with the constant snapping of pics when we set off on our travels in a few weeks; I’ll definitely try limit it!
Hehe yes, place the camera down occasionally! You’ll have a far more memorable time than what any photo could provide 😉
I especially agree with #3, and that is communication! I went on a month long trip with my boyfriend last January, and we got in fights because I thought I told him this, he thought he told me that, blah blah blah. We learned that we couldn’t get mad over a little miscommunication and had to let the little things go. The trip got a lot more pleasant after that!
It’s such a common mistake too! The worst part is that something so silly could ruin a day in an amazing place. I’m glad you both ended up having a great trip 🙂
Just want to let you know that this was a realy great post 🙂 something to think about when you’re traveling with your partner 🙂
Thank you 🙂 The tips seem so simple but it’s very easy to forget the basics sometimes.
Thanks for your comment!
I prefer to treat a travel adventure as an opportunity to get to know each other even better and to explore something new in my beloved one. Before we used to spend this precious time worse, which almost crashed some trips, but with time we gained some experience to manage stressful situation when abroad:)
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What a great way to put it Anastasia! It’s very precious time indeed especially if used wisely 🙂
These are great tips, thanks for sharing these key points
Thanks Noel, I’m glad you enjoyed the post!
Thanks for posting this guys! We’re going travelling in a couple of weeks! Really useful post! Alex @ http://www.stagandhen-tees.co.uk
You’re most welcome Alex. Have fun on your travels!
Believe it or not, but there are people who are doomed to be pain-in-ass to travel with. I am talking about those who loves to plan a group trip only by themselves, but wants others to follow it. If not followed, the trip gets nasty.
Yikes! I have heard many interesting stories from others but have still been lucky enough to avoid trips with these types myself! I hope for your sake you have avoided them too 😉
Nice article, a lot of the points resonate with me and my wife as we travelled.
We travelled for 15 months after we got married, and it was the best thing we could do for our relationship. When you consider how long you spend together at home, if you both work in different offices you may see eachother for 5 or 6 hours a day. When you’re travelling its almost every waking moment, and that certainly sets the scene for honesty and being yourself!
Hi Barry, Thanks for your comment! Wow, 15 months is awesome. You’re so right, the amount of time you really spend together is so small considering how many hours there are in the day. I’m glad you had a great trip and I hope there are still more to come! 🙂 Mirna
Hello!
My boyfriend and I recently stumbled upon your blog and absolutely adore it! We are a travel blogging couple as well! We linked & quoted your site in our recent post about choosing a travel partner and how to travel well with others. I wanted to say thank you for the amazing content. Let me know what you think!
http://thecoupleabroad.com/2014/08/05/15-tips-for-choosing-a-travel-partner/
Hey guys, I’m glad you enjoyed the post! Happy travels to fellow couples travellers, Mirna 🙂
it’s *traveling
Chelsea, please do a quick Google search to discover how different English speaking nationalities spell words, otherwise you look really silly. We’re Australian, which is fairly evident by our blog. We speak British English, which is the original English. So let me tell you, it’s *travelling. That’s how it’s spelt in British English, which comes from the people who invented the language, so you are wrong. As I said, quick Google search before trying to pick out people’s faults.
Great tips for travelling as a couple! We are a travelling couple and we find these tips important too.
We always leave our phones behind when we are having dinner, or when engaging in other activities as a couple.
Travelling is a great experience for a couple and we encourage it for everyone!
Cheers!
Learn to read each other 🙂 Know when to annoy the other person and have fun but know when to give the other person a hug too.
We’ve definitely found that travelling has made us a better couple.