How to Find your ‘Sense of Place’ When the Travelling Stops
This is a guest post written by Jo Castro of The Zigazag Mag
Finding your way to a sense of place when you have lived in many places is one of the most difficult things a traveller or expat has to face.
To find your way you have to look ahead, but you also have to live in the present.
I cried myself to sleep for days when I returned to England after many years’ travelling and living as an expat in Africa and Asia.
My night time dreams were always of being locked out of a beautiful house and while I knocked on shut windows, trendy people with smiling faces were having a really good time inside.
I was the outsider, looking in – the un-belonging, with no sense of place anymore.
Have you ever felt like that too?
Then we relocated to our next posting overseas and I not only rejoined the tribe of people I could easily relate to, but also went on another new voyage discovering exciting places and sharing what I found with new made friends.
Back ‘home’ everyone (except my Mum) dismissed my travel tales as inconsequential, and nobody was interested in the photo albums.
Had I had a new loft extension or kitchen interior re-design? Well, No. What did I think of the schooling system. Um, well – can I tell you in 6 months? And what about the state of the housing market?
Oh dear. No matter how much I tried I couldn’t connect to the place I had once called ‘home’.
A Sense of Place
Professor George Seddon (1927 – 2007), described as ‘the professor of everything’ coined the phrase “A sense of place”, which is really the encapsulation of that grounded feeling we get when we have gained knowledge of, or feel in harmony with and are appreciative of our environment.
Although I love travelling, I also like to know that there’s somewhere I can return to, somewhere that I belong, somewhere that I feel a ‘sense of place’.
This isn’t always the place where my roots are dug firm and deep, which for me are the rolling green hills of England’s West Country – where my beginnings lie – but a sense of place doesn’t seem to be exclusive to where you were born.
Devon's coastline is stunning
It’s said that there is a path for everyone to follow, and to be flippant, it’s not always clear if you should be following yours or your best friend’s, or that of a famous person, or a relative.
Where we end up when the travelling is over, is not always entirely up to us.
If you believe in astronomy perhaps your path is squarely written in the stars? I don’t know. But your path will often lead you to somewhere where you either have to work, or return to, which you may not feel as if you can ever form a connection with, or re-connect with.
Mountains near Stellenbosch, South Africa
After 25 years of working and wandering in Nepal, Namibia, Lesotho, Hong Kong, The Philippines, Hong Kong (and other places) our little family of four, now with two almost grown up children, headed for Bunbury from Cape Town.
As the days went by and we extracted ourselves from everything that had become familiar in South Africa, the path ahead seemed to become windier and more difficult to follow. So many questions and To Do lists, so many different roads we could take.
Would we find a sense of place in Australia, and if so where?
Indeed, work possibilities could have seen us land up in Sydney, Brisbane or Perth.
We didn’t have a life-map and nobody I knew could give me any comforting advice about which to choose, so I dreamt my future and hoped it would turn out alright, as together, for many black and white reasons we touted the, in my opinion, little known town of Bunbury as our place of choice.
Cruise ships, yachts and beaches in Bunbury
As we went through the mechanics of another international move, I realised something else.
Perhaps it has to do with quantum physics, or maybe compound interest. I’m not sure. But each new decision that has to be made adds on another three or four qualifying decisions to be considered, in order for the big decision to happen.
Have you ever found that?
And approximately the same amount of people will pose problems and questions for you to consider too.
So you’re always busy, plotting and planning the next step without time to grieve the life you are losing, which must surely die in order to give way to the one ahead? After all, one of the most heinous of travelling crimes is to be a “When We”.
“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand,” said Randy Pausch in his book ‘The Last Lecture‘, and I tried to take that on board as we plotted our course to a new life in the Antipodes.
Pausch worked as a Disney Imagineer and didn’t Disney himself say, “If you can dream it, you can do it?” I think so. …
Bunbury is WA's third largest city, and a great place to live
Here we are in January 2012, and I have played my hand to the best of my ability and dreamt hard. Three years down the line and I’ve found the sense of place I was longing for.
Sights and sounds have become familiar and I’ve learnt to see what is beautiful in a landscape I’m not familiar with; to pick out the flashes of colour, to understand the seasons, recognise the trees and birds and wildlife endemic to this area and become at one with the new possibilities this region has to offer – without comparing it all to a different type of beauty in South Africa.
I have made new friends and found a new rhythm, but most of all I have found a sense of place which has come out of paying attention to every moment of the present.
Most of all I am not an outsider looking in anymore.
Do I love South West Australia? Oh Yes.
Would we have jumped off the proverbial cliff and made the move from expat-dom to permanence had we tried to find answers to all the problems connected with the move, had we tried to find a sense of place before we’d arrived? Oh No.
Would I have found a sense of place by living in the past? Of course not.
This isn’t to say that as a traveller you shouldn’t always be open to a sense of possibility; The rut versus the butterfly. In that case, I know which one I’d rather choose.
But for now, I’m home, with no regrets and a satisfying sense of my own place in this part of the world.
8 Tips for finding or re-discovering a sense of place
- When the travelling ends, look ahead with boldness, and once you arrive at your destination firmly plant yourself in the present and live in the moment.
- Appreciate your environment and your family.
- Be grateful for each minute of every new day.
- Be open to new possibilities.
- Don’t be a “When We”.
- Find out about the place you have landed in. If you have lived there before, then dig deep or look at it with new eyes – write about what you see, because what’s old hat to you is new and exciting to someone else.
- Don’t rely on your old friends to make you feel at home again. More than likely you will have changed, but they might still be doing exactly the same things, and thinking the same old thoughts. So join a club, start a local blogging circle, find a new job or do some voluntary work and get busy making some new friends.
- Understand what makes the town or region tick. Don’t rail against it, just understand how it ticks and where you fit into it. Be generous in your understanding and acceptance.
Have you managed to find your sense of place?
Bio: A gypsy heart and a geologist husband brought veteran travel writer Johanna Castro to Western Australia from Cape Town. Exploring and writing about the region led on to the opportunity to update the Western Australian chapter of Fodor’s Travel Guide…
Johanna’s lived in 11 different countries including Nepal, South Africa, Namibia, Lesotho, Hong Kong, The Philippines, Gambia, Taiwan and England and has contributed to over 40 publications including, The West Australian, A Place in the Sun, Traveller and Flying Springbok She’s working on a travel memoir and blogs about travel and lifestyle at The Zigazag Mag Her gypsy heart is currently content but not yet tamed. You can follow her on twitter and facebook.
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25 comments on “How to Find your ‘Sense of Place’ When the Travelling Stops”
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Hi! We’re Caz and Craig…
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Great post. I will have to come back to this one when my travelling ends later this year.
Enjoy your travelling overseas, but let’s hope you come home and begin travelling in your own back yard when you return at the end of the year
Great post! I am living with my husband in Italy; we’re stationed here on an assignment with the military. I feel like I experience the emotions you describe all the time. We travel extensively within Europe but no one else does. The few people we do know are never interested in our travels and I always go through a bit of depression when we get back from traveling.
I know exactly how you feel. It’s important to create your own memories and if people don’t ask about your travels or they appear disinterested, then learn not to take it to heart. Sometimes they just don’t have the words to respond. It shouldn’t diminish what your travels mean to you, or how much you’ve learnt about life and different cultures by travelling. You will be a stronger person for it in the end.
Such great tips! I’m not sure why so many travelers think just because they’ve returned home they have to quit exploring! You can explore ANYWHERE in the world, even in your backyard.
You are so right. Our own backyards can be really interesting. We just have to learn to look at them with new eyes and from different angles
Can definitely relate to this right now–I just got back to California after more than a year in Australia and Southeast Asia. I’m so happy to be able to relax (with no rent!) and catch up with family and friends–but it’s only been a week and I’m already itching to go somewhere new, do something cool, take some photos. Having a very hard time not being a “When We” but trying to embrace all that Northern California has to offer!
I can relate, so well. On the one hand there is joy and relief to be ‘home’ but on the other there is the ‘itchy feet’ syndrome and an intense longing to be on the road again. Try not to be a “When We”, and embrace all the interesting things about Northern California – you might be surprised how many new things you find to explore now that you have returned with ‘travellers eyes’
Really nice tips, and this is an issue so many travelers have to deal with. I’ll add another suggestion: Start hosting CouchSurfers when you get home, so you can have a steady stream of international visitors and vicariously satisfy your need to travel the world.
A sense of place is especially important once your travels come to an end. It is almost a bolder move to stay in one place than to keep traveling. I think you make some excellent points and suggestions. It really is all about new possibilities and living in the moment to find some “sense.”
I like that! Sounds like a good idea for a Blog! Is there one already? http://www.couchsurfers.com … for those who just can’t stop travelling
Oops, there is and it’s linked straight through to what seems like a random advertisey one. Anyhow, there’s still room for some thoughtful creativity about Couch Surfers I reckon.
Lovely piece Jo, and that’s something I certainly struggled with when I returned to Perth after being abroad for a few years – it took me a while to get the hang of life here again – but I think having your own family is what makes a place “my place”, if you know what I mean.
(It’s lovely that you quoted George Seddon – his son is a very good friend of ours and I have heard so much about him).
Thanks Amanda
I’m glad you could relate to the piece and my sentiments. Yes, I know what you mean about having family around – even if it’s a small nuclear family (for me anyway)it does ground you and give you a better sense of place. That’s amazing about George Seddon’s son and you! Small world, hey?
I am not an expat and have never lived overseas, but I have traveled extensively in my home state, and I believe in don’t be “when we….” and living life now, travelling on roads less travelled, going to new places, experiencing sights and sounds – being and doing, experiencing life now when you can. I enjoy your writing so much Jo. What a fascinating life you have had – I so much look forward to seeing and reading your memoir when it is published!
Thanks for your insightful thoughts Jill, and kind words about my writing
I’m so glad that you travel extensively in your home state, taking roads less travelled and experiencing life in the NOW (thank you Eckhart Tolle – The Power of Now). I’m such a believer in ‘there’s gold in your own back yard – so mine it,’ and you seem to be doing that. Traveling can be as much a state of mind as moving to a new geographical location. I’m working on the memoir 
Hi Johanna,
Great to see you here and read these tips. There is always a low after exciting travels so it’s great to anticipate that and have solutions for how to cope:)
Hi Annabel, Thanks for your comment
I’m not sure that I can offer solutions about how to cope after the traveling stops because I must confess to still being trying to find my own way. BUT I do stand by the tips I offered and hope that they offer some guidance to others. Putting on my philosophical hat … This traveling life, either as expat or itinerant wanderer, offers the most enormous highs and lows which cannot always be quantified once our feet hit terra firma – in whatever guise terra firma may take. And I have no doubt that after all your travels you are probably party to that as well 
I’ll admit I can’t deal with it. I’m back in my “home” town and I am planning an at least semi-nomadic future – staying home just makes me feel OLD (and I’m only JUST 50 LOL).
Hopefully once I can talk my partner into not working – we can spend at least 1/2 the years on the road.
Speaking of not being able to connect, I realised it myself at a recent dinner party where everyone was talking about the new TV series “Game of Thrones”. I had no idea what they were talking about, and don’t really care to.
That’s so spot on Ian! I remember going back to the UK after living in Hong Kong and everyone was into “Big Brother” which had just come out. I couldn’t understand how friends and family were so completely spell bound by the programme (and quite expected me to share their enthusiasm) – but also I had to admit, in a hangdog way, that I couldn’t see the sense it in when Hong Kong was on the verge of being handed back to China and nobody knew the ramifications of what might happen next. For right or wrong, I couldn’t really care about a bunch of people living in the same house in England being filmed in a set up way exclusively for other’s entertainment on TV
I have spent over 15 years calming sobbing backpackers as they face the end of their journey in Australia and the return to life in the HOME country.
They are torn between the life of travel or go home and end their studies, maybe find a new job or find a new place to live, or move back in with the family with all the rules!! It’s a daunting task and all of these hit them extremely hard and as a sense of place can be a difficult define in this ever changing world.
The stories of their dreams and travels they tell me over a beer or in my office always amaze me how lucky the modern world is and the ease you skip from one culture to another.
The time I have spent with the guests attempting to appease their fears has never fazed me or become a burden as I am one of the lucky people to even to have become close enough to hear their pain or share their stories.
So when I would talk to them I would explain that any adventure you can find or part of your own country you haven’t seen can be a way of lessening the impact of heading straight back into the real world.
The one thing that always seemed to help, was to tell them that this was part of their journey and I was thrilled to be part of it, and please don’t forget me or Australia as we won’t forget you. This I think gave them some relief that they are now part of us, never to be without the memory.
Do day trips on weekends, use facebook and twitter or blog to keep in touch with the many friends you have made on your travels but never give up the search for new experiences and adventure, for this is what will fulfil your life. The more the memories to fill the days when you sit back and reflect the life that was yours!
Happy Travels
Papa Smurf
So true. Love your sentiments Papa Smurf.
I’m an American living in Scotland with a husband born in Wales so we often talk about what it is to ‘belong’. Through Couchsurfing and friends visiting, I’ve seen how it’s possible to create a feeling of belonging and home with a blazing fire, a cup of tea and a genuine interest in listening to someone else’s life.
It’s why we feel so strongly about hostels — they are places that, run right, you create a sense of place because you let people relax and connect to each other. But it’s definitely a road less traveled and I appreciate your sharing the uncertainties because we often feel them too and just have to believe it all comes right in the end!
I like the sound of a blazing fire, cup of tea and the story of someone else’s life! Makes the uncertainties a whole lot easier to deal with. Thanks for commenting.